The Border Vampire

A long time ago, just at the border between Mexico and the United States, there was a vampire. People were afraid of crossing the border because this bloodthirsty vampire of unknown nationality would jump on people as they crossed and did naughty things to them!

Anyway, in Mexico there was this family. The wife was sick and about to die, and the father-in-law and mother-in-law begged the husband to cross the border because the medicine they needed could only be found in the US.

The husband would not go; he was afraid of the vampire. He was afraid the fiend would do naughty things to him! But one day his best friend came to visit him and told him, "What are you so afraid of, compadre? Listen, I'll teach you a powerful spell in Spanish that will send the vampire away. When the vampire assaults you, say it out loud so that he can hear it and fear it. It goes like this:

 "Vampiro fronterizo que por las noches volaras

"a pesar de tus hechizos mis nalgas no las tendrás"

 [Roughly translated, to keep the rhyme]:

"Border vampire, at night many victims you will have,

"but even with your spells, my butt you will not grab!"

 Armed with the Spanish spell, the man went on his way and started crossing the border. Slowly... slowly... when suddenly the nefarious border vampire appeared, moving closer and closer! Quickly, the man shouted the Spanish spell:

 "Vampiro fronterizo que por las noches volaras

"a pesar de tus hechizos mis nalgas no las tendrás" 

"Border Vampire, at night many victims you will have,

"but even with your spells, my butt you will not grab!"

After hearing the spell, the vampire kept moving closer and closer... and closer. And even though he advanced with evil, naughty intentions, he looked at the man in a puzzled way and blurted out in English, "What??"

[The vampire was no longer of unknown nationality. Obviously, the vampire was a Gringo. What do you call someone who can only speak one language? American.]

- The End -