Friday, October 20, 2023

Missing Family


It's been five days since I got back to Mexico City from a three-week stay in Minneapolis to visit my sister and her family.

I have to say I already miss the talks and walks I had with my sister, playing with my two nephews, and the drinking sessions with my brother-in-law.

But such is life. We all need to go back to the place we call home -- wherever that place is.

It's been a little less than seven years since I made the big decision to depart the Philippines for good and live with my wife (then my girlfriend) here in Mexico City. It's been great -- don't get me wrong. Mexicans are warm and friendly (like Filipinos), Mexico is a beautiful country, and it has been fun (okay -- sometimes painful) learning Spanish.  

Living here in North America, however, makes it difficult to visit the Philippines regularly -- the biggest problem, obviously, is the expensive plane tickets. And it hasn't helped that this so-called revenge travel has jacked up the price of flights. 

Which is why I'm thankful that my sister and her family live relatively close to me. Needless to say, visiting them in the United States is a lot easier and cheaper than going home to the Philippines. Still, I wish I could visit them more often, but then I don't have a bottomless pocket, and I can't stay away from work all the time.

As my sister wrote in a caption to a Facebook post where she uploaded a photo of the two of us outside their home in Minneapolis, a picture beautifully snapped by my talented seven-year-old nephew who also has a knack for origami and illustration:

Goodbyes are hard.

Thursday, September 21, 2023

The Philippines Has Always Normalized Stealing

Katong officer sa NAIA nga nangawat og 300 dollars sa isa ka foreigner, unya gilamoy ang kwarta para dili masakpan -- that incident brings me back to a conversation I had with classmates back in my elementary days.

Nagstorya mi sa akong mga classmate unsa among ganahan kuhaon nga kurso inig college. Kadaghanan nitubag og Customs Administration, para makapangawat -- para madato. Seriously, dili ni binuang.

Kasagaran man gud kay naa sila'y kaila (pamilya, parente) nga taga Customs -- nga nangurakot, nangawat, unya nadato. What's troubling about all this is that every one of them answered like it's normal to steal, that to aspire to go into Customs means -- yes -- you MUST steal. If you don't, you're a fish out of water.

Mike Ehrmantraut, the bent cop turned "cleaner" and hitman in Breaking Bad and Better Call Saul, lost his son Matty, an honest cop -- who, ironically, idolized his father -- because the kid didn't want to take dirty money. When Matty was being offered a cut by his corrupt colleagues, he asked his dad for advice. Mike told his son that if he declined the money, that if he took a moral stand, he might be seen as a liability -- after all, the entire precinct where both father and son worked was 100% corrupt. Matty took the money against his better judgment, but it was too late. Just the hint of reluctance on his part was enough for his fellow cops to worry about him becoming a whistleblower, and he was ambushed and killed.

Real talk: na-normalize na sa Pilipinas nga kung pwede ka mangawat, and you can get away with it, then go ahead. If you're in a position to steal and you don't, there's something wrong with you.

That fictional police precinct in Philadelphia where the Ehrmantrauts worked is a microcosm of the Philippines. Kung dili ka kawatan, ikaw ang abnormal.

Tuesday, September 12, 2023

An Unpopular Opinion

 



Here's an unpopular opinion, but I don't give a fuck anyway.

The incident between Vice Ganda and his husband wasn't the problem. The MTRCB, even if it's useless and biased, isn't even the problem. The biggest problem we have -- and not just in the Philippines but worldwide -- are these fucking evangelical Christian churches that are a wellspring of hate and far-right rhetoric.
They're anti-diversity, anti-vaccines, anti-science, and basically anti-reason. They are anti-reproductive health, anti-immigrants, and anti-women. They're pro-guns, pro-violence, and pro-hate.
In a nutshell? These churches are purportedly following and preaching Jesus' teachings, but are actually blatantly flouting them with their anti-Christian beliefs.

Tuesday, July 18, 2023

So This Is Narcisissm: A Micro Rant

A loved one has told me several times that I might be bordering on being narcissistic, owing to the fact that whenever she asks me a question on any topic, after giving her an answer I always circle back to me -- my experiences, to be exact.

I told her that that's the only way I can make sense of my answer, or think clearly, for that matter -- basing it on my own experience. I'm pretty confident that I'm not narcissistic; I just believe that there's wisdom to be gleaned from the personal. 

Which is why I've always been drawn to writers of the personal essay, the memoir, epistolary novels in the form of journals, and to fictionists who write in the first person.

That's why I'm drawn to blogging.

So this is narcissism?

So be it. 

Friday, July 14, 2023

Stop Stealing Artists' Work

I have a lot of artist friends -- graphic designers, illustrators, painters, calligraphers, photographers, architects, tattoo artists -- and I have a ton of respect for all of them and for what they do.

In the case of the latter, I've ALWAYS tipped them on top of the actual price of the tattoo they quoted me -- almost always 15%, at least. I have 30 tattoos now (and counting), since I was first inked way back in 2017, spread over hours and hours of 14 painful sessions, and I've been fortunate enough to have been tattooed by a total of 10 talented artists, majority of them Filipino and Mexican, and a couple of Americans.
The way I see it, I'm just borrowing their art, which they painstakingly inked onto its permanent canvas, my skin -- until I draw my last breath, that is, and the canvas and the art burns to ashes in an incinerator (I prefer to be cremated when the time comes).
My point? Artists (any kind of artist, not just tattoo artists) aren't respected enough these days, what with majority of people misguidedly looking up to the billionaires instead -- the Zucks and the Elons and their ilk -- because who would want to be an underpaid and underappreciated artist?
Tipping my tattoo artists is the least that I can do to show my respect for them. I also go out of my way to make sure they get a good photo of their art right after each session to upload to their portfolio, and if I can't go back to their studio, I send them a picture of the tattoo to add to their "healed" album (this is very important for tattoo artists).
Indeed, artists of any kind nowadays aren't appreciated enough, their work even being subjected to humiliating haggling by disrespectful and scumbag "clients," and as if being underpaid weren't enough, these artists' labor of love (mostly in the case of graphic artists, photographers, and illustrators who choose to upload their work to online portfolios to, hopefully, pull in -- guess what? -- more work) are now being stolen -- with the help of tools cleverly labeled "artificial intelligence."
Pay your graphic designers, your photographers, your tattoo artists well. Respect their work; respect their art. Most importantly, don't steal their art.
It will be a fucking cold day in hell before I use some tool that brazenly steals artists' work, especially for profit.

Friday, June 23, 2023

"Happiness" Is a Filipino Noontime Show

All these Filipino noontime-show hosts -- from TVJ to Vice Ganda to Willie Revillame, and now Paolo Contis -- seem to have a shared script whenever they're faced with criticism: "Gusto lang namin magbigay ng saya."

This boilerplate answer makes them sound like the selfless heroes that they're not, especially since "magbigay ng saya" is actually newspeak for "we want you, the masa, to watch our program and of course keep on buying those canned goods and detergent and instant noodles and 3-in-1 instant coffee and 5-in-1 herbal tea etc., and buy them from that grocery chain owned by big-time smugglers so that these products and grocery chains keep advertising with us, while we earn millions by trying to 'entertain' you, regardless of the fact that we've dumbed down our show, which is what we believe is good-enough entertainment for you, but deep down we don't think it's really entertaining -- of course not -- but hey, we've already sold you on the idea that it is. We're just here to bring joy to each and every Filipino household."

I remember that in the aftermath of the Wowowee crowd crush way back in 2006 at the PhilSports Stadium in Pasig, then-host Willie Revillame apologized to the families of the 73 people who died trying to get into the studio so they can win prizes.

I also remember that after apologizing, Revillame tried to justify what happened by saying the magic words:

"Gusto lang namin magbigay ng saya."

Thursday, June 8, 2023

An Anti-AI Rant

I was always drawn to the personal essay, which has -- fairly or unfairly -- been regarded as inferior to the novel, the play, or the poem, the runt of the litter in literature. The form has frequently been dismissed as an exercise in self-indulgence and navel-gazing.

It is also the perfect “anti-AI” literary device.

You devour essay collections by E.B. White, Philip Lopate, and David Sedaris. You enjoy nonfiction by Joyce Carol Oates, Zadie Smith, Toni Morrison, Arundhati Roy, and George Orwell. You read essays by Filipino writers Conrado De Quiros, Jessica Zafra, Butch Dalisay, Simeon Dumdum, and Kerima Polotan-Tuvera.

Why?

You read those writers’ essays because you want a front-row seat to their experiences; you want to know their opinions, which might -- who knows? -- shape your own. You laugh out loud at Sedaris writing about his time working as an elf at Macy’s department store; you marvel at De Quiros’s wisdom as he deconstructs in a column why Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo is as trapo as it gets and shouldn’t be reelected, and why you should instead vote for Raul Roco (I did; he was the first-ever Philippine presidential candidate I voted for, and I didn’t regret my decision).

An AI program might tell you his (or her? -- let’s stick to “its”) experience climbing Everest, for example, and how on the descent it unfortunately had to be carried down by a Sherpa to be airlifted to the nearest hospital. But the experience, obviously, is another person’s (or asshole’s); you asked (PROMPTED) the machine to tell you about its Everest experience, but it told you someone else’s, passing it off as its own.

A lot of people might say, why should we look for something anti-AI in the first place anyway? Majority of those who might say this, of course, have discovered that AI has made their jobs easier. And there’s nothing wrong with that.

Just like there’s nothing wrong with opting for a dumbphone instead of the ubiquitous smartphone, if only to enjoy life at its fullest. (Six years ago when I backpacked Guatemala, I brought a rudimentary point-and-shoot camera, which was already going extinct at that time because of smartphones. I also bought a dumbphone and a local SIM, relegating the smartphone to my bedroom whenever I needed to message my wife, who stayed here in Mexico while I went on that backpacking trip. I can honestly say I enjoyed my time more with that dumbphone in my pocket for emergencies, and the obsolete digital camera to take pictures with, than if I brought along my smartphone, for which I would have surely been tempted to check my social media accounts instead of enjoying the beauty of my surroundings.)

I posted more than a year ago on Facebook that while people point to the Internet as one of the biggest problems plaguing us today, we should blame social media instead.

Life was good when we only had dumbphones. Life was good when we could only access the Internet through a desktop or laptop, and that everything started going to shit when Steve Jobs decided that we all needed a computer in our pockets, and when Android followed suit.

Of course, that I posted that rant on Facebook through a smartphone wasn’t lost on me.

Just like it isn’t lost on us that AI makes a lot of jobs easier -- that’s the reality now. Just like when article spinners a few years ago purportedly made content writers’ jobs easier. In a lot of ways, those article spinners were a precursor to today’s AI chatbots, much like the original T-800 terminator cyborg assassin was to the T-X or the terminatrix. (If you thought you’d finish reading this and not encounter a single reference to “The Terminator,” think again. LOL.)

When an employer reached out to me many years ago and asked me to work for them as a content-writer-slash-editor, I showed up at the interview. But when I found out that the work consisted of running articles through a spinner and then just cleaning up those “articles” before posting them, I declined the offer.

If I wrote, I wanted to write from scratch; if I edited, I wanted to edit human writers’ work. I’ve been fortunate enough to be able to do that all these years. But with AI evolving as it has, I’m not sure how long I could still afford to do what I’m doing right now, what I had been fortunate enough to be able to do all these years.

My biggest issue with AI is that it has always relied on a repository of writers’ and artists’ work and passing off that work as its own. Let’s call a spade a spade: this is plagiarism -- stealing -- plain and simple. This blatant theft, in turn, has made AI companies a fortune -- at the risk, of course, of writers and artists losing their jobs. Artists and writers, by the way, who have always been underpaid but still decided to stay in their line of work anyway.

American artist and writer Molly Crabapple hit the nail on the head in an op-ed she penned for the Los Angeles Times late last year. Crabapple wrote:

“AI pushers have told me that AI is a tool which artists can use to automate their work. This just shows how little they understand us. Art is not scrubbing toilets. It’s not an unpleasant task most people would rather have the robots do. It is our heart. We want to do art’s work. We make art because it is who we are, and through immense effort, some of us have managed to earn a living by it. It’s precarious, sure. Our wages have not risen for decades. But we love this work too much to palm it off to some robot, and it is this love that AI pushers will never get.”

Of course those AI pushers will always say that there’s no stopping technology, and they’re right.

The book I’m currently reading is an account of Lance Armstrong’s climb atop the Tour de France’s record books as the only seven-time champion and his subsequent fall from grace as the drug cheat that he is. It was written by Irish sports journalist David Walsh, who claimed that Armstrong used performance-enhancing drugs throughout his career. Walsh, who had been writing about cycling since 1984, was one of the first journalists to accuse Armstrong of using performance-enhancing drugs. Needless to say, Walsh, throughout his career, has been at the receiving end of Armstrong’s retaliatory attacks.

Walsh wrote in the book that the 1998 tournament -- the year before Armstrong won his first Tour de France -- was marred by a doping scandal known as the Festina affair, when a large haul of prohibited performance-enhancing drugs was found in a support car belonging to the Festina cycling team just before the beginning of the race. As a result, cycling authorities conducted an investigation, which revealed systematic doping involving many teams in the Tour de France.

The 1999 tour that Armstrong won should have been the year that the Tour de France had been cleaned of doping, a tour that organizer Jean-Marie Leblanc, at that time, declared “saved.” But as Walsh -- and other cycling journalists -- chronicled, it seemed as though the race had two speeds: the group of riders who were legitimately free of PEDs perpetually at the tail end of the peloton, and Armstrong and his ilk, who seemed to zoom by everyone else while hardly breaking a sweat. Anton Vayer, a retired cyclist who testified against the Festina cycling team, said he found it “scandalous” that Armstrong rode at an average speed of 54 kph. “It’s nonsense,” said Vayer. “Indirectly, it proves he is doping.”

Vayer added: “What is being achieved in professional cycling these days is a joke. It is way beyond man’s natural capacity.”

Armstrong had tried to soften the blow of being uncovered as a cheat -- and being stripped of his seven Tour De France titles as a result -- by saying that even if he doped, he didn’t have an undue advantage over his rivals because everyone in cycling dopes anyway. In an interview with Oprah, Armstrong also promised to apologize to Walsh.

The journalist never received an apology.

A lot of people would say, just stop the anti-doping measures, just let every cyclist take whatever drug they want, and may the best athlete win.

You can’t stop progress. You can’t stop technology. Doping is part and parcel of every Tour de France now. Records are made to be broken.

Others, though, pine for the good ol’ days when cyclists competed on a level playing field. The pace was slower, sure. But the struggle was part of the beauty of the sport.

Artists and writers can’t stop AI from stealing their output, which is part and parcel of how capitalists keep using the terms “progress” and “technology” to justify the theft, just so they could continue to enrich themselves at the expense of those who actually did all the hard labor.

But artists and writers, just like old-school cycling enthusiasts, can still dream; we can still cling to romantic notions. We’re still allowed to rage against the dying of the light.

We’re still human after all.