Pinoy "Utang Na Loob" Is Obsolete and Has No Place In Any Family

Your children didn't ask to be brought into this world. It's your responsibility to feed them, clothe them, put them through school, and make sure they can eventually fend for themselves. Your kids aren't an investment. And you don't decide to have children just so someone can take care of you in old age -- that's selfish. If they end up doing that, well, good for you. You don't get to choose who they marry either because, well, that's creepy. You can give them advice, yes, of course. But it's still up to them if they want to heed that advice. 

Children who grow up being conditioned as the breadwinner of the family will become bitter and rebellious, and this shouldn't be taken against them. That's a natural response. There are exceptions out there, though -- take Sarah Geronimo for instance, a virtual saint who did everything her mom asked of her. Still, after everything -- and by "everything" I mean hundreds of millions of pesos, lol -- her mother wasn't happy that her daughter was finally getting married and had the gall to disown her. The Golden Goose found her gander, and Mother Superior was disappointed and thought her days of harvesting golden eggs have come to an end. Never mind that she had enough golden eggs to last her several lifetimes anyway.

That's eternal "utang na loob" for you. I'm probably not Filipino enough because I don't subscribe to that bullshit. But then again, I don't subscribe to a lot of Filipino beliefs anyway, especially if they're the conservative kind. That doesn't mean I don't love my family or my elders. On the contrary, I love them to death and respect the hell out of them -- because they allowed me to be my own person, someone who could think for himself and make his own decisions.

Not everyone is as fortunate. Just ask Sarah Geronimo. Or Carlos Yulo.

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